Secret to a Happy Marriage: Counseling

So, fairly regularly I bump into people that are quite forthcoming about their lives and also their problems.
I attended a speech given by the mayor of my fine city on Monday night. I was beginning to come down with, what I believe to be, the avian flu. I got there relatively early and found a seat in this beautiful church. I decided to catch up on my e-mail and then cracked open the Bible. An elderly woman squeezed by and wanted to sit next to me, I mean NEXT to me. She was in her late 70's/early 80's and somehow she started talking about her life and her marriage of 57 years to her husband who has full fledged dementia. She explained that she hates to go see him now since he is quite angry and destructive. They have known each other since they were children. She was only a few weeks older than him. She explained that he was a Phi Beta Kappa from Amherst and now he is a man who needs assisted living. They are extremely wealthy and live in a coveted neighborhood in the suburbs of Philly. Their 5 children went to the most elite private schools and went on to successful colleges and careers.
She explained that through out their marriage they dealt with a myriad of health issues as well as alcoholism and habitual smoking. Now, 4 out of her 5 children all live on the west coast and the one lives in Virginia. Their daughter who lives in California no longer speaks to her parents because she disagreed with putting their violent father in assisted living. The one son wants the mother to sell all of her possessions.
She went into detail about the illnesses of her husband. I told her how I thought it must be so hard to see the love of your life go through the illnesses he had. She told me what was worse was watching his mind go and he doesn't even know who she is anymore. She said that it is something that you can never be prepared for.
I asked her the secret to what has made it last and she said, after thinking for a moment: counseling. Counseling saved our lives.
It got me thinking. From the outside, this is a woman you could tell was gorgeous in her hay day, had a very intelligent husband, and a gaggle of children that were highly successful.
What she has now is an empty house. She does not have support of her children, her friends are all very ill, and her husband is fading away in front of her eyes.
People would perceive them to be the perfect family, but scratching at the surface, there is no such thing. Everyone has skeletons, it's just a matter of whether you are good at covering it up or not.

I suppose in our lives are our ups and downs. I am concerned with friends of mine that have never experienced heartbreak or adversity. What goes up, must certainly come down. I had recently told one of my best friends, "When you go through the difficult times, it's hard seeing through the muckity muck to the good stuff at the end." There is always good stuff at the end.

I believe it starts with yourself. At 30, I am now starting to realize who I am and what I want. It has been about 2 months since I started self discovery. I have a long way to go, but so far, 30 has been an incredible year! I am blessed with an abundance of love. My own happiness is in my own control.