At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me...

I just heard this song yesterday while I was getting music at my parent's house. It's "I'm Moving On" by Rascal Flatts. What a fantastic song! It really struck a nerve with me and it is a beautiful applicable song.
Moving on is something I am doing these days....life is patiently waiting for me. It's a lovely thought.
Change is exhilarating yet, it's the fear of the unknown. Typically, I am MORE THAN ready for changes when they arise (moving out of my parents, moving into my OWN house, new job, new car, even new furniture...). And TYPICALLY, when I am done with a relationship, I am done and completely through. With the exception of B, I have never had a "re-run". When it is over, it is over and I can completely detach. I can even go out for drinks, dinner, or hang out at parties with those I have dated sans emotions and actually would get antsy thinking that they may read into hanging out as something more than it is.
This is one that has stumped not only me, but those around me.
Right now, I am trying to regain ME back...my self esteem, my self worth, my confidence, my joy, my pride.
As much as there was some joy in my last relationship, I now realize that a relationship with an alcoholic is having a relationship with someone who does not exist. The man in my brain is not the man that exists. Once I realized that, boy did my brain explode open. I could visualize our wedding, honeymoon, putting together a nursery, hanging out at home with our family, and even him coaching soccer. The realization is that his disease incapacitates that from happening. It is not a reality and I need to start living in the now, not what was or what could be. The reality is that right now, he is so far away from the life I want. And truthfully, it is a life that I have always wanted and hoped and prayed he would meet me there, and sadly it is not the case.
My new successes with work have proved to be a huge barrier for us. When I took my current job, I became fulfilled in ways that I have never known. I can be creative, flexible, and surround myself with amazing people. Sometimes, I am shocked I actually get paid for my job.
All of this came at a time where he was essentially "demoted" on medical issues or something like that and had to move back home in with his family for several months to share a room with his brother again (had a custom built house in a city 5 hours away) and instead of working in outside sales/marketing sat at a desk in a cubicle. For the past 4 years, he always made more money than me and had a better job than me. Now the tables have turned. I now make more money and have a better job. This has created, I believe, a big divide between us (among other things).
I took several days not speaking to him and got some clarity in therapy and talking to some friends. It's almost like a switch went off.
I am regaining me back and it feels SOOO good. I am looking for a nice guy who relishes in my success (not makes me feel guilty for it), and respects my choices and encourages me along the way as I would like to do him.
He's out there...and ya know...HE will find me. I am thankful that God created him just for me.
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me...